Eleanor Craik: My Education Experience

My name is Eleanor Craik; I’m 23 and am heading back to university in September to do my PGCE in primary. This time next year I will be a teacher (at least that’s the plan!). My interests include learning BSL, playing LOTRO (Lord of the Rings Online), watching subtitled films and trying to keep fit.

I was born in 1989 and passed the initial hearing tests. When my brother was born, he failed his hearing test and when having to go back for further tests my mum requested they re-test me. My brother passed but I failed. Since then my hearing has dropped twice making it a progressive loss.

I attended mainstream primary school and although it was feared I may have to be held back a year as I hadn’t had as long to learn to talk as most others, I quickly caught up and became one of the more able pupils according to my teachers. I remember being confused in Reception class because I’d seemingly be getting on with work, writing words out phonically and showing it to the teacher. The teacher would then ask the teaching assistant to take me out to make cakes for the school. No-one else ever seemed to do this and although I enjoyed it and I really liked the teaching assistant, I always thought I’d done something wrong, that my work wasn’t good enough. Years on and I still don’t understand why but I realise it must have been difficult for them to know how to deal with me as they’d never experienced a deaf child and it was a steep learning curve for all involved.

High School and beyond

At high school I remember more vividly the problems I had relating to my hearing loss. Although I had a great group of friends (we called ourselves the ‘rejects’, all the people that never seemed to hang out with anyone hung out with us) it never shielded me from problems.

I remember one particular teacher who thought I was unable to speak and often asked my friend to read out anything I’d written. This was rather amusing but frustrating, but worse so for my friend. One day I came in to find them playing some sort of character role playing game but I was told to sit in the corner as I wouldn’t be able to follow it. Yes, I agree that it would have been difficult, there was a lot of to-ing and fro-ing but the teacher never explained the game, or even attempted to allow me to join in.

It was difficult for me to learn German, follow maths or science – the teachers were surprisingly understanding (mostly) but my concentration and focus was not so good. It was hard work, lipreading the teachers all the time and often I relied on my friends. One day, my tutor asked me if I thought I was making it harder on them: it seemed my friends had been telling her that it was difficult. I felt extremely upset, I didn’t think I asked much of them, no more than most friends would. It made me retreat, withdraw and hide. I lost my confidence (although I didn’t have much in the first place).

During high school I had a Teacher of the Deaf who supported me. She came to visit once or twice a week and asked if I had any issues with classes, if my hearing aids were working ok, if I needed extra help with things. She was brilliant at trying to help me with maths and science but with my raging teenage hormones and low self-esteem, I know that at times I made it very difficult to help me.

I went to college straight after high school to do a diploma and stayed there to do my degree. It was a very long 5 years and I still had a fair share of communication breakdowns. I remember one boy on the course; he asked me if I was really deaf. I showed him my hearing aids and he laughed, he said he thought I was just pretending to get out of doing things. He wasn’t particularly nice anyway but it astounded me the thoughts that people could think. As I’ve gotten older I’ve learnt for myself that nobody is born deaf aware, it tends to be people who know someone deaf that are more understanding.

The problem with my education was that I felt I didn’t need help, when I probably could have done with it. I believed that I was able to do everything myself to the point of alienating myself, spending hours after school/college researching things that had been talked about. My teacher of the deaf wasn’t there when I went to college and at times I missed her support. Towards the end of my degree I became more independent, more assertive.

Deaf Awareness

At one of my workplaces just a few days ago I was put in a training room, big room, very echoey, air con blasting away. The learners were all put on round tables scattered about the room in different directions. Within minutes of starting I realised there wasn’t a hope in hell of hearing anything, I couldn’t even localise sounds. I asked the group if everyone could move because I simply couldn’t hear. Everyone moved into a semi-circle shape and although I still struggled I could pick up where sound was coming from and hopefully get there in time to lipread (but obviously, some people still not being interpretable, moustaches and mumblers I’m looking at you).

Deaf awareness doesn’t happen all the time. I’ve been so frustrated this past week at the number of video clips I’ve had to watch for training and none of them having subtitles. One of the sessions talked about dignity and the principles of dignity. One of the principles was about how you would shape the care of a person. They talked about it passionately but yet they didn’t consider the care that I needed, even after the fact I’ve been there for two years now and I highlighted this all in the previous training.

The amount of people I’ve had to explain that it’s not about volume, its interpretation I struggle with. But it’s also meant that I’ve met some amazing people. I’ve had and have the best friends anyone could hope for and all the love and support from my family that I could possibly want. Learning BSL has opened my eyes to the deaf community and shown me what life can be like with equal access. I believe that if I have children I will teach them BSL as well as English, this will enhance my understanding of them and will enlighten their understanding of deaf awareness – something that can only be taught.

For me now, I am heading back to university to study for my PGCE. I’m very scared because for the first time ever I won’t know anyone, the university, the lecturers, etc: but I’m relishing the challenge. I’ve actually requested funds from the DSA to enable me equal access, and although I wasn’t too keen on it to begin with (been recommended a Radio Aid which I absolutely hated using at school), I am definitely more open to it than when I was a teenager. I’ve heard about so much new equipment coming out; from live subtitles, google glasses and new treatments for hearing losses – I believe the world isn’t finished with me yet; the fun has only just begun. I just hope for more subtitled cinema films whilst we’re all waiting!

Eleanor Craik is a blogger and writer, and works with disabled children. She is going back to University to study her PGCE for Primary this year. You can read more of her writing at A Subtitled Life, where she co-blogs with her friend Imogene Reynolds.

Filed in: Careers & Education